12 Simple Steps to Condemnation

From N.Son on HisCrossword.

From N.Son on HisCrossword.

A quick and simple guide to condemnation brought to you by Mehal Krayem and May Fahmi.

It’s so easy, anyone can condemn!

At the height of media hysteria about the ever-threatening Muslim, and with all the requests by broader society for speedy condemnation, we decided to put make the job easier for Arab and Muslim communities in Australia by putting together this simple guide to condemnation.

Check all that apply, then compile in a statement and hit “release”.

    1. Is this:
      • A Muslim issue?
      • An Arab issue?
      • What’s the difference?


    2. What do you wish to condemn?
      • A video
      • Comments made by a Muslim ‘community leader’
      • The lack of comment by a Muslim community leader
      • Comments by someone who identifies as Arab
      • Something that happened in Saudi Arabia (sorry, not Israel)
      • Threats of violence by someone who does not look White
      • Perceived threats of violence by someone who does not look White
      • Lack of comment by someone we’ve never heard of who identifies as Muslim
      • Comment by someone who doesn’t identify as Arab or Muslim, but is not White
      • Act of oppression by someone who does not look White (mark urgent if oppression took place against women)
      • Comment by someone we’ve never heard of who identifies as Muslim (mark urgent if comment was made by a man with a beard and/or a minor)


    3. How long ago did the subject arise?
      • Recently (in the last 24 hours)
      • In the recent past (in the last week or month)
      • In the distant past (2 months to 12 months ago)
      • In the very distant past (between one to 1400 years ago)


    4. Have you viewed or heard first hand (i.e., not from a secondary source) the offending comment/video/threat of violence?
      • Yes
      • No
      • I don’t need to


    5. How did you hear about it?
      • Sunrise
      • Ninemsn
      • Today Tonight
      • On Twitter
      • From my friend, Moey
      • Through Facebook
      • From Emma Alberici
      • My socially progressive, left wing friend emailed it to me with the caption.
      • Through a press release put out by another Muslim organisation condemning this event
      • I have not heard about this event, but we haven’t released any press statements this week


    6. How seriously do you condemn this issue?
      • I condemn this issue.
      • I strongly condemn this issue.
      • I very strongly condemn this issue.
      • I unequivocally condemn this issue.
      • I unreservedly condemn this issue.
      • I strongly, unequivocally, unreservedly condemn this issue.


    7. Select a reassuring statement:
      • Islam is a religion of peace.
      • Most Muslims are law abiding citizens.
      • Muslims contribute to the fabric of Australian society.
      • Not all Arabs or people of Middle Eastern appearance are Muslim.
      • Islam encourages Muslims to fully participate in the county in which they reside.


    8. What is the duration of this condemnation?
      • One week
      • One month
      • Indefinitely
      • Until the next international atrocity/outrage/sensationalised event, at which time a new condemnation will be issued


    9. From which group are you most expecting a backlash?
      • Facebook bigots
      • Professor Barry Spur
      • Community members condemning your condemnation
      • Self righteous Sydney Morning Herald commenters
      • Journalists rejecting your condemnation as insufficient
      • Why am I doing this again?


    10. This condemnation is supported by
      • LMA
      • Hizb ut-Tahrir
      • The Mufti’s Office
      • All of the above
      • None of the above


    11. Do you anticipate any further condemnation on this issue?
      • No ( Just kidding!)
      • Maybe (We are always prepared for further condemnation)
      • Yes (Hizb ut-Tahrir is yet to comment; we usually condemn their comments)


    12. Please choose a font:
      • Times New Roman
      • Arial
      • Calibri
      • Cambria
      • Comic Sans (Not recommended for anything beyond a ‘very strongly condemn’).

Mehal Krayem is a PhD survivor, freelance writer, status-quo-disruptor by day and froyo connoisseur by night. Her research interests lie in pop culture, religion and gender. When she’s not reminding students of why the social sciences are a totally legitimate field that ought to be taken very seriously, she’s drowning her postgrad woes in mafroukeh or chocolate – quite often both.

May Fahmi is a 30-something working mum who loves to try cuisines from all over the globe, but still thinks her mama’s cooking is the best.

Categories: Politics

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